I have been wanting to write about this for a while. I recall sitting in my office early this year and drawing on a napkin a picture of a helium balloon with the sandbags on the side. The science of a gas balloon is such that to fly higher,” the pilot throws out ballast
Another disappointing loss for ND tonight. The tough part is listening to some of the prognosticators say that ND is not prestigious anymore…Does any other TEAM basically have their own national television contract? Can any other TEAM say that every one of their games is televised…every year? Can any other TEAM say that the biggest game their opponent plays EVERY year is the Notre Dame game? Notre Dame IS prestigious and Robert Smith (ESPN studio analyst) doesn’t understand what he is saying when he says that Notre Dame can’t afford a prestigious coach since Weis’ buyout is so large.
Now, I do believe that Weis should forego a majority of the buyout since I believe he should be fired for ’cause’. Even HE said when he was hired that 6-5 just wasn’t good enough! He’s right. 6-6 isn’t good enough, either. So, as I look at what the kids may want as a gift this year for Christmas, I am often amazed by technology and how it has changed how we learn. I had been considering purchasing a guitar for my son. Then, I saw this blog post by Tim Stevens with a new “iPhone app” to play the guitar. Spend a couple minutes viewing this:
So, I can either buy him a new guitar and go through the pain of trying to force him to learn to play or finding a spot in the closet for another over-sized gift, OR I can purchase the app for his iTouch for $3.99. Now, I know all of the comments: It is more important for him to learn how to play the guitar rather than just hit buttons on a phone…right?
Sure, and it’s more important for kids to learn cursive than type in Word….
and it’s more important to learn how to divide using long division rather than using a calculator…
and it’s more important to read a book from a hardcover rather than purchase an e-Reader and read on my smartphone…RIGHT???? Maybe.
So, what does this have to do with Leadership and Relationships. I will tell you. It is our TIME! You see, as I have said in previous posts, our time is something that we don’t manage. We only have so much time. AND, how much of it do we waste on ‘stuff’ and ‘relationships’ and ‘worrying’ …on holding on to things that we want to get better if we just give it a little more time?
Well, at some point we have to say that our time is much more valuable for things like family and taking care of ourselves rather than worrying if our hand writing is perfect and if our ‘friends’ will be angry if we don’t come to the Tupperware party. My challenge to you is this:
1) Make a list of the things most important to you
2) Compare that list with what is on your calendar(handwriting, guitar playing, Tupperware parties, figuratively speaking)
3) Where there is a match, leave it there
4) Where there is a dis-connect, make a choice – Either it needs to be on the list of #1, OR you need to Let it go…Not so easy.
So, I think I may take up the electric guitar with all the time I am going to free up…
Have a great weekend, friends!
The following is info that I did not create. It was something that I learned and have subsequently ‘SWIPE’d(Steal With Integrity Practically Everything) becuase of the meaning it has for me. I saw this first in a book by John Mawell Titled “There’s No Such Thing As Business Ethics“. I received it again over the past week from Jim Karger, a friend, mentor, and colleague who pens the blog “CrediblyConnect” (http://www.crediblyconnect.com/) .
In essence, the exercise goes like this, you don’t have to write down the answers, just ponder them for about 30 seconds for each question.
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress…
6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.
How did you do? Not really that easy, is it?
Now, answer this question(I want you to WRITE the answer to this question!):
Name three people who have had a positive influence on your entire LIFE? Depending on who is reading this, that is likely at LEAST an average of 40 years. The questions above only ask you to answer questions for the past 10 years at the most.
Much easier, right?
And the point is…we tend to not remember POPULAR people, but we DO remember those who made a difference in our lives because they cared.
Now, first action item. Take a look at your list of people who have made a difference in your life. I want you to choose one and tell them Thank You. Write them a note(not an email, a HAND WRITTEN note…oh, the pain!) and let them know that you appreciate that they made a difference in your life. It may be someone you haven’t seen in 20 years. That’s OK. If you are reading this, you have access to the internet. Ever hear of a site called ‘Google’? Go find them. If they made a diference in your life, then take the effort to find their address. You will feel great that you did that and they will appreciate hearing from you. You never know. It may re-kindle an old friendship.
Finally, I want you to ponder one more question about this exercise: Who is going to write YOUR name on THEIR list? If you can’t think of anyone immediately, then maybe you need to start making a difference in someone’s life in a postive way….TODAY.
So, after I got the big “plank” out of my own eye, I was ready to learn in the book.
It comes down to our basic needs:
1) The Love She Most Desires
2) The Respect He Desperately Needs
The author shares great stories from his seminars of husbands and wives looking for the answers. I found myself laughing out loud and reading parts to Chris, saying “Here we are…wait til you hear this.” The most humbling ones were “Here I am. I know I do THIS one.”
The author used acronyms as ways for husbands and wives to come off the crazy cycle. Men, here is yours: C-O-U-P-L-E = How to Spell Love to Your Wife.
C=Closeness O=Openness U=Understanding P= Peacemaking L=Loyalty E=Esteem
In each chapter, the author gave me all kinds of nuggets. And, ladies, he tried to help you as well with the acronym C-H-A-I-R-S
C=Conquest H=Hierarchy A=Authority I=Insight R=Relationship S=Sexuality
Now, this section was suggested just for the women, but I had to read it anyway. And, I nearly fell off the bed while reading one like when the author quips to the women, “Think about when you get out of the shower versus when he gets out of the shower. When you step out of the shower, he is all eyes, oblivious to everything else. But what happens when he steps out of the shower? You probably say something like, “Please stand on the bath mat.” or “Be careful! I just waxed the floor.”
I believe this is a great book for couples to read together to improve their marriage and really should be required reading BEFORE marriage. My takeaways included:
1) I need to be sure that I am showing unconditional love she desires all the time to my wife and not hold that love back if I don’t feel like I am getting the respect I need
2) My kids are watching and when they are dis-respectful to their mother, it is likely because I am not showing her the love she deserves in front of them
3) The Bible is so clear on this topic of marriage. I sometimes have too big of a plank in my own eye to see it.
There are so many nuggets in this book, it easily gets my highest rating: a “10 out of 10″ dogear rating. Now, I know I could give MANY of these books out, but I don’t want anyone to feel I am telling them/hi,/her what they need to do. If you want to work to get off of the Crazy Cycle (by the way, it is always there. Nobody is perfect) and on to the Rewarded Cycle, then you should make the choice to buy this book and read it. If you make the choice, I know you will enjoy it! If you allow it, it could change your marriage and, thus, your life!
Are you ready to get off of the Crazy Cycle and on to the Rewarded Cycle?
Where I come from, one of the favorite ‘pot-luck’ side dishes is ‘green bean casserole’. We could debate all day long about who makes the best green bean casserole. Of course, I would say it was my wife, Chris, but she has never made it, so my next best vote would be Mom!! (Although, I am not sure she has ever made it, either!)
So, what in the world does Green Bean Casserole have to do with Relationships? It is very simple: When I ‘hear’(or smell!) green bean casserole, I think of some of the times I have gotten together with friends in the past. I think of:
So, while it doesn’t matter if I really LIKE green bean casserole, (I really don’t. I prefer the pasta salad or the pepperoni rolls!) it is simply the memories made that are important and the fellowship/relationships I have built with friends over the years.
I’m hungry…
What is the comfort food that YOU always remember at your favorite gatherings? Does it bring a smile to your face to think about your favorite ‘casserole’ and the friends or family you spent time with while eating that food?