Book Review – Love & Respect

October 8th, 2009 by Gallagher John 1 Comment

I just finished reading Love & Respect, by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.

I picked this book up while walking around Family Christian Bookstore one day and I have to admit that at first, I bought it more for my wife than me! Then, as I started it, I was reminded of a verse from Matthew 7:3 – “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s(wife’s!) eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”(NIV) – OUCH! I also had seen a review done by Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishing, on his blog about the book.

The theme of the book revolves around the often mis-interpreted book in the Bible – Ephesians, and specifically verse 5:33 “However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (NIV). Ultimately, the author describes the problem as the Crazy Cycle:

So, after I got the big “plank” out of my own eye, I was ready to learn in the book.

It comes down to our basic needs:

1) The Love She Most Desires

2) The Respect He Desperately Needs

The author shares great stories from his seminars of husbands and wives looking for the answers. I found myself laughing out loud and reading parts to Chris, saying “Here we are…wait til you hear this.” The most humbling ones were “Here I am. I know I do THIS one.”

The author used acronyms as ways for husbands and wives to come off the crazy cycle. Men, here is yours: C-O-U-P-L-E = How to Spell Love to Your Wife.

C=Closeness O=Openness U=Understanding P= Peacemaking L=Loyalty E=Esteem

In each chapter, the author gave me all kinds of nuggets. And, ladies, he tried to help you as well with the acronym C-H-A-I-R-S

C=Conquest H=Hierarchy A=Authority I=Insight R=Relationship S=Sexuality

Now, this section was suggested just for the women, but I had to read it anyway. And, I nearly fell off the bed while reading one like when the author quips to the women, “Think about when you get out of the shower versus when he gets out of the shower. When you step out of the shower, he is all eyes, oblivious to everything else. But what happens when he steps out of the shower? You probably say something like, “Please stand on the bath mat.” or “Be careful! I just waxed the floor.”

I believe this is a great book for couples to read together to improve their marriage and really should be required reading BEFORE marriage. My takeaways included:

1) I need to be sure that I am showing unconditional love she desires all the time to my wife and not hold that love back if I don’t feel like I am getting the respect I need

2) My kids are watching and when they are dis-respectful to their mother, it is likely because I am not showing her the love she deserves in front of them

3) The Bible is so clear on this topic of marriage. I sometimes have too big of a plank in my own eye to see it.

There are so many nuggets in this book, it easily gets my highest rating: a “10 out of 10” dogear rating. Now, I know I could give MANY of these books out, but I don’t want anyone to feel I am telling them/hi,/her what they need to do. If you want to work to get off of the Crazy Cycle (by the way, it is always there. Nobody is perfect) and on to the Rewarded Cycle, then you should make the choice to buy this book and read it. If you make the choice, I know you will enjoy it! If you allow it, it could change your marriage and, thus, your life!

Are you ready to get off of the Crazy Cycle and on to the Rewarded Cycle?

Relationships and Green Bean Casserole

September 22nd, 2009 by Gallagher John 1 Comment

Where I come from, one of the favorite ‘pot-luck’ side dishes is ‘green bean casserole’. We could debate all day long about who makes the best green bean casserole. Of course, I would say it was my wife, Chris, but she has never made it, so my next best vote would be Mom!! (Although, I am not sure she has ever made it, either!)

So, what in the world does Green Bean Casserole have to do with Relationships? It is very simple: When I ‘hear'(or smell!) green bean casserole, I think of some of the times I have gotten together with friends in the past. I think of:

  • picnics at home with family
  • get togethers with college friends (Susan ALWAYS brought green bean casserole ;0>)
  • small group gatherings with friends from church
  • the day that Chris and I were baptized with friends in Fort Wayne, IN, when we formally and publicly professed our faith together

So, while it doesn’t matter if I really LIKE green bean casserole, (I really don’t. I prefer the pasta salad or the pepperoni rolls!) it is simply the memories made that are important and the fellowship/relationships I have built with friends over the years.

I’m hungry…

What is the comfort food that YOU always remember at your favorite gatherings? Does it bring a smile to your face to think about your favorite ‘casserole’ and the friends or family you spent time with while eating that food?

Is Social Media a 'Fad'?

August 30th, 2009 by Gallagher John No Comments

I saw this video posted on another blog recently and wanted to share. If you have just 4 minutes, it is a GREAT snapshot of the impact of social media on our lives. I was really shocked by the data on how LONG it took for TV & Radio to gain an audience of 50 million users, compared to Facebook. Astounding.


Are you currently involved in ‘Social Media’? If not, why not? Top reasons I have heard folks tell me why they are not:
1) Don’t have time for it (250 million users of Facebook have the same number of hours in a day that you do!)
2) I don’t want to put my personal info out there – Especially in Customer Service, the question is if you are not putting it out there, who is?)
3) It’s too confusing to use – YouTube has over 100,000,000 videos(found this out in THIS video). Go there and search for How To ___________. You are sure to find it. Then, you don’t have to ’embarrass’ yourself and ask someone how!

If you area involved in Social Media, are you connected with me? If not, why not? Just click on the links at the side of this Blog post. I would love to stay connected with you.

That 'First day of school feeling'

August 24th, 2009 by Gallagher John 6 Comments

Today was the first day back at another school year for our sons,Brendan (7th grader) and Joseph (5th grader). I know they were anxious, even thought they did not want to tell Mom & Dad that! We were anxious, no doubt.

Of course, we told them the story about how “When we were kids ________________.” They rolled their eyes. Each year I make breakfast for them on the first day, too. This year, there was one eggo waffle request and a frozen sausage, egg & cheese muffin. Made it easy on me!!

The first day of school is a new beginning. Chances for them to get new clothes, new books, make new friends, and hopefully, learn a few new things. It should be a good calibration point for me. Generally, in life, there are not many ‘First days of _______(school, job, etc.).” But, when there are, it tends to be exciting. It tends to be a learning experience. We get to meet new people.

So, if we are stuck in a rut, how do we make that “First day of school” feeling all over again? I need to ask myself that question. You see, today is the “First day” of the rest of your life( I didn’t make that up. I am sure someone else said it!). What can you do to create that anxiousness, that excitement, that knotted up stomach feeling when you walk through the front doors? I need to create that feeling again.

Maybe I will go get myself a pair of new school shoes today! Have a great week, friends.

God, I pray that you watch over our boys this year at school. Introduce them to great opportunities, great friends/relationships, and keep them safe. I pray that you grant their parents wisdom, patience, and understanding. Help us all grow closer as a family this year. – Amen

Book review – Duct Tape Marketing

August 17th, 2009 by Gallagher John No Comments

Recently, I completed the book Duct Tape Marketing by John Jantsch. It was a gift from a friend that I received about 4 years ago and really have just gotten around to reading it. I wish I would have read it three years ago when I made the choice to enter in to the real estate business.

This book is chalked full of pragmatic tips for putting together a marketing ‘system’ for your small business. I filled the front and back inside bindings with notes and ideas as they popped into my head while reading the pages.

I appreciated the author’s definition of Marketing:

Getting people who have a specific need or problem to know, like, and trust you

I believe that definition is spot on for small business marketing. The book is broken out into 3 parts:

1) The Duct Tape Foundation

2) The Duct Tape Lead Generation Machine

3) Getting on a Roll – Finding out what ‘sticks’ and do more of it.

I implemented ideas he suggested and saw immediate results:

1)Webinars – We did a Webinar and generated three new leads and closed one in less than a week! Our average sales cycle is 4 months. Needless to say, we have another Webinar scheduled!!

2) Wake up the senses with an Image to Match Your Message – I updated the look of the header on our website and added this ‘image’ to our advertising, and marketing materials, and have already had comments about the improvements from potential clients. See some of the changes at

And, I used the book to help set new measurements for Sales & Marketing including: Lead generation numbers and Lead conversion rations.

I have shared this book with team members and look forward to using it as a guide to put together our marketing plan for the future. I highly suggest this book to small business owners looking to leverage their marketing. The book was published in 2006, so it just started to delver into how to use social media as well, but as you read it, you can visualize how to make improvements via blogging, Facebook, Twitter, and other creative ways to get your message out to as many prospects as possible.

This book gets a ’10’ on my dogear rating system. My highest ranking. If you can’t find the ideas to help you improve your marketing system in this book, I don’t know where you will find it!!

Leadership and Cheeseburgers

August 2nd, 2009 by Gallagher John No Comments

I’ve done some blogging on Leadership and _________. Leadership at the Movies, Leadership and the Laundry Room, and even Leadership and Wetsuits.

I see these comparisons across many bloggers. Here is one I wanted to share due to my affinity with food by Thomas Schulte: On Leadership and Cheeseburgers.

Great points about ‘the big cheese’:

Do you project an image and back it up as well as cheese does to the burger ensemble?
Are you complimentary to almost any combination of team members that may be slapped together at a moment

Leadership at The Movies!

July 26th, 2009 by Gallagher John No Comments

One of the favorite tools I like to use when presenting on Leadership is a movie. There are so many movies out there that have great Leadership principles embedded in them, so to speak. Maybe unknowingly, even.

I am preparing a presentation that I will do this week titled “What Got You Here…Won’t Get You There“. I will be using the clip below to chat about what it will take us to get from the 10-yard line to the “end zone”. It is a clip from “Facing the Giants”. If you have a few minutes, it is a good clip to watch.

Other movies I have used in the past include:

  • Dead Poet’s Society – Carpe Diem (Seize the Day) – Make a Difference
  • Hoosiers – The Underdog and overcoming fear
  • Sister Act (Yes, Sister Act!) – Great parts for Identifying Strengths and Putting People in the Right Seats on the Bus
  • Miracle – Several great leadership stories in this movie, including Team before Individual, Standard Work, Passion
  • Who’s on First – Communication skills!!

I know there are more that I have used and will use in the future. A couple questions for you as a leader:

  1. Is there a movie you have seen that has a great Leadership topic embedded in it?
  2. When you are watching a movie, are you ‘watching’ for that possible teaching moment you can use in the future?

Please share if you do. Also, if you have a few minutes, watch this clip below and let me know what Leadership Principles you see ’embedded’ in it.

Have a great week!