Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Book Review – 90 Minutes in Heaven

July 20th, 2010 by John Gallagher No Comments

Recently, I completed 90 Minutes in Heaven, a true story about Death and Life by Don Piper.  This book was not on my reading stack for 2010, but was a gift from a friend…and what a gift it was.

I read this book while on vacation and it was hard to put down once I got started.  Even my mother borrowed it from me during vacation and finished it in just a couple sittings!  (She gave it back with a gift of a bookmark – Thanks, Mom!)

The title depicts the time Don Piper spent in heaven after a severe accident where he had been pronounced dead and 90 minutes later, he returned to life.  The book jumps immediately into this event and details the agonizing AND rewarding recovery process.  There were a few great takeaways for me: (more…)

Leaders: As your Responsibilities INCREASE, your rights DECREASE

April 22nd, 2010 by John Gallagher 2 Comments

Anyone who doesn’t believe the title of this post needs to look no farther than the sports headlines today.  Two different stories with the same cause, but different consequences:

This is not a post about judging right or wrong or the individuals involved, but making a point.  As our Responsibilities increase (Quarterback = President), our Rights decrease.  I am not talking about the rights we have as citizens, but the rights we have to make poor judgement and put ourselves in bad situations in the eyes of those who follow us and believe in us.  What have I learned from this Ben Roethlisberger story?

  1. I choose not to put myself in situations like Roethlisberger put himself in.  Aside from the allegations, we live in a world of camera phones, flip video cameras, Twitpic, etc., and our poor judgement can be broadcast, literally, in SECONDS.
  2. Leadership is a full-time position.  24/7.   There is a country song titled “I don’t have to be me til Monday.”  WRONG.  When you leave your ‘office’, you are expected to behave the same way whether or not you can be seen.  This is the definition of CHARACTER
  3. Some wise advice I was given early on:  “If your mother would be embarrassed to read about this action on the front page of the newspaper tomorrow, you probably should not be doing it.”

Ben Roethlisberger has made some poor decisions and put himself into a bad situation.  Whether or not he was convicted, he is the face of the Pittsburgh Steelers’ franchise.  As a leader, he must do better.   I hope that he, as an individual and leader, can recover from this and rebuild trust in the relationships he has damaged.

So, do you agree?  Do your rights DECREASE as your RESPONSIBILITIES increase?  Why or why not?

Leaders don't Transfer pain…They TransFORM it

March 16th, 2010 by John Gallagher 2 Comments

This Sunday Pastor Bob Fiedler asked us a great question. Do we transfer pain, or transform it? It was a great question. One in which leaders need to understand. There are distinct differences.

Leaders who transfer pain: start problems, yell & scream, discourage, react with anger, and place blame.

Contrast that with

Leaders who transform pain: solve problems, calm & consistent, encourage, react with forgiveness, grace, and mercy, and they take responsibility.

I asked my brother, Michael, to help me with this post and here are couple examples he had to put this question into perspective:

Basketball coaches: When something goes wrong, does a coach compound it by dwelling on what the players are doing wrong? Or does the coach build his players up by saying what they are doing right?

Teachers: When teachers receive test results they aren’t exactly happy with, do they show the scores to the students and break them down more and create another problem? Or does the teacher look at what could have been taught better and try to fix the problem?

We need more leaders (coaches, teachers, parents, pastors, friends, bosses, etc.) that transFORM rather than transfer pain. When we are able to do this, more people will follow us and more will get accomplished.

So, what other examples can you share of differences you have seen in transferring and transforming pain? Please add your comments! I would love to hear from you.

Leadership and 'Re-fueling Pit Stops'

February 19th, 2010 by John Gallagher 2 Comments

In a Nascar race, an average efficient pit stop that consists of the changing of all four tires and a full tank of fuel can take anywhere between 13 and 15 seconds. The amount of pit stops during a race vary because of numerous factors — race length, caution flags, fuel mileage, tire wear and pit strategy to name a few.

In Leadership, it is necessary to take regular ‘pit stops’ so that you can keep your engine running. In today’s economy, it sometimes can feel so important to continue to run around the track at 200 miles an hour and not have time for a ‘pit stop’. We all know that if we don’t come in and ‘re-fuel’, replace the tires, and adjust the suspension, we will not be able to cross the finish line.

Recently, I completed an overnight ‘pit stop’ where my wife, Chris, and I were able to get away for an evening…just the two of us…to re-fuel and prepare to get back out on the track again. This opportunity was refreshing and got me thinking how important it is to take time away to refuel. You see, re-fueling doesn’t mean to shut it down completely, but rather, a brief moment to ensure all the systems are ‘go’. And, it isn’t enough just to do this for a vacation annually. It has to be planned as daily, weekly, quarterly, and annual down time to recharge. Mark Sanborn tweeted recently a post that touched me completely about the need for weekly ‘down time’. He asked if Sunday was a ‘day of rest, or a day to catch-up’. Too often, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week is seen as the norm, and I don’t want to allow myself to fall into that trap.

So, I am committing to the following ‘pit-stop’ schedule for myself.

  1. Daily – 1 hour (reading an inspirational book or listening to a podcast)
  2. Weekly – One day (Tuesdays. In real estate, Sunday is a ‘normal’ work day. Even for church leaders, Sunday is a work day!)
  3. Quarterly – One weekend
  4. Semi-annually – One week

During this time, I will take my foot off the gas and re-fuel the engine. I know it will benefit me. It is important to set boundaries around this time as well. No email…No PDA…Minimize the distractions. My wife needs this time, too. Rarely do stay-at-home moms get the benefit of pit stops and I need to honor her time.

So, are you taking ‘pit stops’ to re-fuel? What do you need to do to ensure that your motor is running at the end of the race and that your down time is rest time and not catch-up time?

Leadership and Shoveling Snow

February 11th, 2010 by John Gallagher No Comments

In the midst of one of the historic winters in Roanoke, VA, (with regards to snowfall) it has been a CHALLENGE to manage my attitude each time I have to go out and shovel the snow off of our driveway. Perspective is important. So, as I was shoveling our driveway for the 3rd time in a 24-hour period just the other day, I found myself thinking about how this could POSSIBLY relate to leadership and it actually was relatively easy.

Continuous improvement – I am always trying to find the ‘least waste way’ to do things and shoveling a 3,000 square foot driveway is no different. How can I improve upon my methods to reduce the time that it takes? Probably one of the many things that drives Chris crazy about me, but it is just how I am wired. (No comments from the Peanut gallery about buying a snow blower. That is another story in itself!)
Relationships – I was able invest time with Chris as we talked about a future vacation, sitting on the beach, and being WARM! We had about 3 hours of time with no TV, no distractions, except for the scraping of the shovel over the asphalt. It was almost peaceful.
Discipline- It was a great workout. Not a whole lot better core workout than shoveling about 4,5000 cubic feet(yes, I calculated it!) of heavy wet snow. Great cardio, too. Thus, I did not have to go to the gym (could not have gotten there, anyway!)
Attitude – Rather than it being WORK, it is time to reflect, think, be grateful…Grateful for the time with Chris, for the beauty of the snow falling, etc.

So, next time you get frustrated or angry with the shoveling of the snow (or some other project), view it as a time to grow personally….make a game out of it…consider it your exercise…It really helps to reduce the stress of it. (this DOESN’T mean that I am hoping for several more inches of show ;) )

So, what project do you think you HATE to do that if you were to take a different approach, would make it a positive experience?