John Gallagher

Anyone who doesn’t believe the title of this post needs to look no farther than the sports headlines today.  Two different stories with the same cause, but different consequences:

This is not a post about judging right or wrong or the individuals involved, but making a point.  As our Responsibilities increase (Quarterback = President), our Rights decrease.  I am not talking about the rights we have as citizens, but the rights we have to make poor judgement and put ourselves in bad situations in the eyes of those who follow us and believe in us.  What have I learned from this Ben Roethlisberger story?

1. I choose not to put myself in situations like Roethlisberger put himself in.  Aside from the allegations, we live in a world of camera phones, flip video cameras, Twitpic, etc., and our poor judgement can be broadcast, literally, in SECONDS.
2. Leadership is a full-time position.  24/7.   There is a country song titled “I don’t have to be me til Monday.”  WRONG.  When you leave your ‘office’, you are expected to behave the same way whether or not you can be seen.  This is the definition of CHARACTER
3. Some wise advice I was given early on:  “If your mother would be embarrassed to read about this action on the front page of the newspaper tomorrow, you probably should not be doing it.”

Ben Roethlisberger has made some poor decisions and put himself into a bad situation.  Whether or not he was convicted, he is the face of the Pittsburgh Steelers’ franchise.  As a leader, he must do better.   I hope that he, as an individual and leader, can recover from this and rebuild trust in the relationships he has damaged.

So, do you agree?  Do your rights DECREASE as your RESPONSIBILITIES increase?  Why or why not?

This Sunday Pastor Bob Fiedler asked us a great question. Do we transfer pain, or transform it? It was a great question. One in which leaders need to understand. There are distinct differences.

Leaders who transfer pain: start problems, yell & scream, discourage, react with anger, and place blame.

Contrast that with

Leaders who transform pain: solve problems, calm & consistent, encourage, react with forgiveness, grace, and mercy, and they take responsibility.

I asked my brother, Michael, to help me with this post and here are couple examples he had to put this question into perspective:

Basketball coaches: When something goes wrong, does a coach compound it by dwelling on what the players are doing wrong? Or does the coach build his players up by saying what they are doing right?

Teachers: When teachers receive test results they aren’t exactly happy with, do they show the scores to the students and break them down more and create another problem? Or does the teacher look at what could have been taught better and try to fix the problem?

We need more leaders (coaches, teachers, parents, pastors, friends, bosses, etc.) that transFORM rather than transfer pain. When we are able to do this, more people will follow us and more will get accomplished.

So, what other examples can you share of differences you have seen in transferring and transforming pain? Please add your comments! I would love to hear from you.