John Gallagher

I just finished reading Tribes by Seth Godin.  To say that this was a difficult book for me to read would be an understatement.  As I got to the final pages, I found myself thinking about how I would review the book and the author knew exactly what he was doing(as I had presumed).  In the final 2 pages, there was a section titled “What, Exactly, Should You Do Now?” It followed with: “You made it to the end.  And it’s possible you missed the checklists, the detailed how-to lists, and the For Dummies style instruction manual that shows you exactly what to do to find a tribe and lead it.  I think that was the point.”

Well, I kept saying to myself the last several pages that this book was not organized into logical chapters AND, I think that is exactly what the author intended.  He confirmed if for me.  At least it was confirmed that I was NOT losing my mind!!!

The Tribe in the title is that group needing to be led.  It may be a Tribe that is already created, but they need a leader. 

There were takeaways for me that I highlighted and/or dogeared:

• He talked about heretics as those wanting to make a difference and challenging the status quo.  I might refer to them as ‘pot-stirrers’, but stirring the pot with the intent to improve and solve a problem, not just stir the pot.  The example he used was “If faith is the foundation of a belief system, then religion is the facade and the landscaping.”  Just because you challenge ‘religions’, doesn’t mean you lose ‘faith’
• He talked about technologies like Twitter, Facebook, and blogging as ENABLERS, and not as a cure.
• He did throw in one “How to” about 2/3 of the way through the book by identifying the key elements in starting your movement:
• Publish a ‘manifesto’ (motto, mantra, story)
• Make it easy for your followers (Tribe) to connect with you
• Make it easy for the Tribe to connect with one another
• Realize that money is not the point of a movement
• Track your progress

My favorite quote of the book was early on how he differentiates between managers and leaders

I just finished reading Love & Respect, by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.

I picked this book up while walking around Family Christian Bookstore one day and I have to admit that at first, I bought it more for my wife than me! Then, as I started it, I was reminded of a verse from Matthew 7:3 – “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s(wife’s!) eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”(NIV) – OUCH! I also had seen a review done by Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishing, on his blog about the book.

The theme of the book revolves around the often mis-interpreted book in the Bible – Ephesians, and specifically verse 5:33 “However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (NIV). Ultimately, the author describes the problem as the Crazy Cycle:

So, after I got the big “plank” out of my own eye, I was ready to learn in the book.

It comes down to our basic needs:

1) The Love She Most Desires

2) The Respect He Desperately Needs

The author shares great stories from his seminars of husbands and wives looking for the answers. I found myself laughing out loud and reading parts to Chris, saying “Here we are…wait til you hear this.” The most humbling ones were “Here I am. I know I do THIS one.”

The author used acronyms as ways for husbands and wives to come off the crazy cycle. Men, here is yours: C-O-U-P-L-E = How to Spell Love to Your Wife.

C=Closeness O=Openness U=Understanding P= Peacemaking L=Loyalty E=Esteem

In each chapter, the author gave me all kinds of nuggets. And, ladies, he tried to help you as well with the acronym C-H-A-I-R-S

C=Conquest H=Hierarchy A=Authority I=Insight R=Relationship S=Sexuality

Now, this section was suggested just for the women, but I had to read it anyway. And, I nearly fell off the bed while reading one like when the author quips to the women, “Think about when you get out of the shower versus when he gets out of the shower. When you step out of the shower, he is all eyes, oblivious to everything else. But what happens when he steps out of the shower? You probably say something like, “Please stand on the bath mat.” or “Be careful! I just waxed the floor.”

I believe this is a great book for couples to read together to improve their marriage and really should be required reading BEFORE marriage. My takeaways included:

1) I need to be sure that I am showing unconditional love she desires all the time to my wife and not hold that love back if I don’t feel like I am getting the respect I need

2) My kids are watching and when they are dis-respectful to their mother, it is likely because I am not showing her the love she deserves in front of them

3) The Bible is so clear on this topic of marriage. I sometimes have too big of a plank in my own eye to see it.

There are so many nuggets in this book, it easily gets my highest rating: a “10 out of 10″ dogear rating. Now, I know I could give MANY of these books out, but I don’t want anyone to feel I am telling them/hi,/her what they need to do. If you want to work to get off of the Crazy Cycle (by the way, it is always there. Nobody is perfect) and on to the Rewarded Cycle, then you should make the choice to buy this book and read it. If you make the choice, I know you will enjoy it! If you allow it, it could change your marriage and, thus, your life!

Are you ready to get off of the Crazy Cycle and on to the Rewarded Cycle?